Bonding & attachment issues
In comparison to all other animals, human infants are born at a time of incredible vulnerability, when they are totally dependant on others meeting their needs. This vulnerability is, in part, an evolutionary trade-off. Human infants, and the infants of other primates, have a much larger brain in relation to body size than the young of all other mammals. Human adults also have a much smaller pelvis than our evolutionary ancestors due to us walking upright on two legs. The combination of these two factors means that the human infant has to be born at a much earlier stage of his developmental process in order to be able to pass safely through his mothers pelvis
As a consequence of this, human infants are unable to care directly for themselves and to meet their own primary needs. Because they require the longest period of care, protection and nurturing of any other species, there needs to be a way in which their parents feel motivated enough to expend the time, energy and effort required to look after them. How then, does the vulnerable newborn infant ensure his survival? The way this is done is through highly specific behaviours that enable both the baby and his parents to fall in love with each other and develop a bond that endures for life.
The Sensitive Period
Most people will be much more familiar with the term bonding than they are with attachment. Both of these terms have been used extensively for several decades to describe the way in which the intimate relationship between a baby and its parents develops. Bonding can be defined as the earliest connections that exist between a mother and her baby throughout the prenatal period to the time immediately following birth. Attachment can be defined as the relational process that develops from after the bonding period through the first three years of childhood, by which time it is considered to be fully hardwired into the brain.
In 1976, paediatricians Marshall Klaus and John Kennell published a ground-breaking book entitled Parent-Infant Bonding. In this, and later publications, they document the existence of a "sensitive period" of approximately 30-60 minutes that exists immediately after birth during which the potential for early maternal-infant bonding is at its optimum. They showed that if a baby is left undisturbed in skin to skin contact with its mother, rather than immediately taken away for cleaning, weighing, testing etc., he can slowly begin to adjust to life outside the womb and develop a more intimate relationship with both of his parents in his own time.
Following birth, the way in which a healthy bond is developed is through
the daily interactions that the infant has with his caregivers. Simple
behaviours such as eye contact, gentle touching, smiling and rocking are
essential components in this process. In order for an infant to develop
a sense of security in his relationships, his needs need to be met consistently
by a loving, reliable and sensitive caregiver. The following list indicates
a number of attributes associated with healthy bonding.
Symptoms of healthy bonding
Good sense of self-worth
Independent and autonomous
Resilient in the face of adversity
Ability to manage impulses and feelings in a healthy way
Ability to maintain long-term friendships
Good relationships with parents, caregivers and other authority figures
Trust, intimacy and affection
Empathy, compassion and clear conscience
Good behaviour and academic success at school
The bonding & attachment process affects us in every aspect of our lives, including our physical, neurological, emotional, psychological, social and spiritual development. It becomes the basis for our development of trust, sense of self-worth and ultimately shapes how we relate to the world and other people.
Bonding & Attachment issues
When this process is interrupted, or does not occur at all, infants and children can develop specific problems in one or more of these areas. These can manifest as behavioural, emotional and learning difficulties as well as possible developmental delays. The degree of disturbance can vary from quite mild to severe.
Potential causes of disturbed bonding & attachment:
Prenatal causes including unwanted pregnancies, in utero drug and alcohol exposure as well as violence, illness and extreme or prolonged stress during pregnancy.
Premature birth and/or other significant birth trauma
Maternal post-natal depression.
Early hospitalisation
Separation from a primary carer
Adoption
Frequent moves and/or placements
Insensitive parenting that lacks respect, discipline, consistency and sensitivity
Abuse
Neglect
It used to be thought that if the bonding-attachment process was interrupted, or even did not happen at all, then there was no way in which it could be changed. However, it is now recognised that the brain is highly plastic and continues to change and adapt to new situations and circumstances throughout life. This means that, with the appropriate therapeutic care and support, a child who did not have a secure early attachment experience can begin to re-pattern this process in a more positive direction. Positive re-patterning of early bonding-attachment issues can also occur in teenagers and adults.
In many cases, families who have children with compromised bonding and
attachment find that they become overwhelmed due to the extreme nature
of the childrens behaviour. Traditional parenting techniques do not work
with these children and so it is important that parents are able to find
the support they need in order to help them cope. This often needs to
be a combination of appropriate therapy for the child along with the parents
learning effective therapeutic parenting skills.
Further details on bonding and attachment can be found in the article Understanding Attachment